Fragments of Remembrance
by Blue Glowing Thing
Summary: Everything is different. But after Fai has changed so much, will Kuro be able to see behind his mask? KuroxFai, yaoi, I suck at summaries. R&R!
1. Chapter One: Tainted

A/N: Hi everyone! I used to come on here all the time…. But I sort of stopped… and now I'm back! With Tsubasa! Yay! KuroxFai AMAZING. And I love it like yay. And I'm insane. Whee!

Warnings: YAOI! Yay! No lemons, though. Just … none. oo But there is a feeding scene!!! And … Vampire-ness! Oh yeah, I should add that this is a major spoiler beyond Book 16... So be careful. And … uhh…. That's about it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa… duh. How could I possibly own something so amazing? But I wish I owned Kuro-paipai

**Chapter One: Tainted **

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Everything was changing, everything was going wrong. The princess was depressed, the kid was someone completely different., but the ninja wasn't sure that he was thinking about any of that. In fact, he knew that he wasn't. There was only one thing on his mind, and no matter how much his body and soul wanted to deny it, he couldn't.

The Vampire.

That word still brought an unsettling feeling to the pit of his stomach. Was it because he knew it was his choice that caused the mage to change? Or… was it something else, something deeper?

The ninja's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door sliding open. Hearing the soft footsteps, he didn't even have to turn to know who it was. He hated these moments…the moments when they were alone. He hated to see that stupid fake smile, but it hurt more to see the expressionless mask.

"Kurogane …. Again?" The voice was soft, not at all how it had been before. Back when everything was how it was supposed to be … Those days where the mage was still a mage, when he would be obscenely loud and do anything just to aggravate the ninja. He wanted more than anything to have that again .. But he knew that it couldn't happen. It couldn't happen because too much had changed already. Far too much.

He clutched the neck of the sake bottle, as though that would somehow help him. The vampire was right, he had been drinking much more than usual as of late. But who could blame him?

"Yeah…" The response was short, more gruff than he meant for it to be. He didn't want to look up. Didn't want to see the patch over the other's eye, or the blank look in the uncovered one. It only reminded him of what had happened, and it wasn't something that he wanted to remember.

The vampire crossed the room, took a seat beside the ninja. This was different. It meant one of three things. He was hungry, he was going to talk, or he was simply messing with Kurogane's head.

The silence that filled the room was more then uncomfortable. It had never felt like this before… not even remotely close to this. It was almost as if there was an invisible force between them, pulling them apart. It worked together in an odd sort of way, Kurogane working to pull Fai closer to him and Fai working to distance himself as much as he possibly could.

He couldn't help it. It was almost unexplainable. Sitting there before, watching the mage suffer, his eye socket empty and bloody and knowing that he was dying … Kurogane couldn't handle that. There was no way he could handle that. He had been desperate, he would have done anything in that moment, just to keep Fai alive. Maybe he didn't fully consider Fai's feelings on the matter, but no matter what, the mage should have wanted to stay alive, right?

But then, at the same time he was begging for them to stop while they discussed it. Did he really want to die that badly? No person should ever wish so strongly for death. So, why? Why was he harboring so much pain? It didn't make sense… but he wanted it to.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the vampire moving closer, didn't feel the pale and flawless hand on his shoulder. He didn't realize what was happening until he felt the familiar sense of pain on his neck, and knew that Fai had only come to him for nourishment. Probably because Princess Sakura had, once again, asked him to.

The ninja's eyes closed just slightly as he felt his blood, the life-sustaining liquid being drained from him. He tried not to think of the slight stinging and tingling sensation that lingered there, but tried harder not to think of what would come next. He never knew if the Vampire was truly that hungry or if he just enjoying messing with him. Soon enough, he felt the slight flicking of Fai's tongue against his neck, and had to suppress a shiver. There was no way that the Vampire could know that it was his one weak spot. His assumption was that instead of just mindlessly drinking the fluid, he may want to taste it. Either way, it still had the same effect on Kurogane.

He never imagined that he would find himself in this situation. Hell, he never imagined that anything like this could even happen to them. Sure, he predicted a few troubles and hardships along the way, but who wouldn't expect that? How could he have ever known that the annoying mage would change him so much?

No matter what, he never thought he would be sitting here, the blonde arched over him and sucking the blood from his veins. Never.

It only took a few moments before Fai's hand was on the back of his neck, forcefully, and he started sucking harder. The vampire's body was taking over for him. It happened every so often, as Kurogane had learned from previous feeding sessions. It served to end the process quicker, and so Fai could leave Kurogane alone with his thoughts and a half-empty sake bottle once again.

When he started to feel light headed, his hand came up to lightly grip Fai's small wrist, letting him know that it was time to stop. The blonde pulled back almost immediately, wiping his mouth and taking in a deep breath. "Sorry," he said. It was one of the most meaningful words Kurogane had heard him speak in a while, and for some reason, that hurt even more than the stone cold silence.

**That's the end of Chapter one! Review please and let me know what you think!**

Chapter two is on it's way … Yay!


	2. Chapter Two: A New Routine

A/N: Hello again ! I'm so happy to read the reviews that I've gotten so far… there's only four, but I'd say that's pretty good for the first day! I'm trying my hardest to respond with at least something to every review I get. I'm glad you guys like it, and I hope that you like this chapter as well. Oh, another thing. There are supposed to be a few scene changes but for some reason, fanfiction isn't including them. I'm sure you can tell where they're supposed to be, but I apologize for the inconvenience.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Tsubasa, sadly enough. But we could pretend, if you wanted.

**Chapter Two: A New Routine**

The morning wasn't something that Kurogane looked forward to. In fact, it wasn't even something that he remotely liked. No, one could say that he hated the morning, and he had reason.

He hated the morning because, just like today, he would rise early and be in the living area before the rest. Why was that such a bad thing? Because this meant that he would be awake when the former mage came out of the room…. The room that he shared with the Princess.

Normally, it wouldn't have bothered the ninja quite as much as it was now. It wasn't simply the fact that Fai was sharing a room with her, but more that he was trying as hard as possible to avoid Kurogane. It was odd…. Different. Before they had always been left alone together, it was almost inevitable. But now, Fai attempted to attach himself to the princess every time he could, and it was next to impossible to even speak to him.

Then, there was the hallway. That stupid, narrow hallway leading to the bedrooms where they were bound to cross paths at least once a day, no matter how hard the vampire tried to avoid it. He hated that hallway. He always tried to get a glance, some sort of look from the blonde. Something. But no, he couldn't even be granted that much. Something was truly wrong here.

As usual, Kurogane was standing near the window, leaning against the wall next to it and staring, waiting for someone else to awaken. When they were all up and ready to go, they would venture out to find the feather and who knew what else?

He heard the familiar sound of the door sliding once again. This time it was quieter, as whoever was coming out into the room didn't want to disturb anyone who may have still been sleeping. It slid shut, with a small click. Footsteps, getting closer and closer, but he wasn't going to turn and see who it was. He had a hunch, and if he turned to confirm it, he may have to face reality. That was one thing he didn't want to do right now.

"Are we ready?" The voice was that of the kid. It was odd, how everything seemed the same and yet so completely different. Who was he kidding? Everything was different.

The others made assorted noises, getting to their feet to let Syaoran know that they were up for the day's task, Kurogane included. He stood, making sure his sword was still in place, and sent a glance in the blonde's direction. He was greeted with the sight of Fai elegantly holding out his hand to help the Princess stand, and he quickly averted his gaze. Why was that making him so angry?

He tried to tell himself he just hadn't had a lot of sleep the night before, and followed the rest of the group as they left. Mokona had gotten a lead on the feather… now all they had to do was retrieve it, and stay alive in the process.

"Princess!" The kid's voice came from somewhere to his left, but he couldn't be completely sure of where the others were. They were deep in the midst of a battle, and the area around them was thick with smoke and dust.

The ninja could barely make out the outline of the thing they were fighting… none of them were even completely sure of what it was. In a way, it resembled some of the Oni he and the other Syaoran had encountered in Oto, but then again, it was completely different.

It seemed more like a giant shadow then anything else, no real features to distinguish characteristics. All that Kurogane knew currently was that it was very hard to get in a good hit on the thing, but the thing itself was very dangerous. The bleeding gash on his shoulder was reminding him of that.

He moved in for another strike, hoping to somehow gain the upper hand, even though he knew that would be close to impossible with the given situation. One attack couldn't turn an entire fight around, but it wasn't about to stop him from trying.

"Senryu-Hikogeki!" He brought the sword up before thrusting it back down, watching the attack as it made it's way to his opponent. Good, it hadn't been expecting that. The thing was in a combat with Syaoran, this was his chance. All that he had to do was make sure that he didn't harm the kid in the process, but where was the vampire during all of this…?

That one moment that took away from his concentration nearly cost him an arm, as the thing swiped impatiently at him. Luckily, the ninja was able to avoid the assault and jumped up into the air, raising his sword once more. If all went well, this would be the final blow.

"Tenma-Ku-Ryu-Sen!"

He tried to study the effects of his attack, but it had stirred even more dust, meaning that he would have to wait until it cleared before he could see what had happened. This would be dangerous, considering the thing to still be living.

When it finally cleared enough for him to see, he noted that the thing… was gone. He didn't know if he had defeated it, if someone else had chipped in, or if it had simply disappeared. All he knew was it was gone, and it left behind no trace of it's whereabouts. He coughed only slightly, his eyes scanning the battlefield. He was just starting to wonder, when…

"Fai-san!" The princess's cry snapped him out of his thoughts and back to reality, where he finally located them and saw what didn't appear to be a pretty sight. From his location, all he could see was the Vampire on the ground, with the kid and Sakura right there, huddled around so that he couldn't tell much of what the situation was in detail.

He hurried over, wanting to know what was happening. As predicted, the sight wasn't a pretty one. His eyes were met with blood. It was soaking through the Vampire's shirt at a quicker rate than it should've been, and his mind wasn't functioning as quickly as it should have been. Fai was injured, Fai was hurt….. The rate that the blood was pumping….. If they didn't do something soon, they would lose him.

That much was obvious.

**Don't you guys just love cliffhangers?** Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get an update soon. After all, this one is, what, the day after? XD I'm bored and it's Christmas break…. Anyway, please review and give me your thoughts!


	3. Chapter Three: Confrontation

A/N: Wow, I'm updating quickly, ne? Haha, I hope you all don't mind… I get bored and I need something to do. Besides, I love writing. I still can't figure out how to get the separation things working, so if someone would be so kind as to tell me ... That would be great. - I hope you all continue to like this story, and if you have any suggestions, please, let me know.

**Chapter Three: Confrontation**

Medicine wasn't his strongest point. In fact, it wasn't one of his strong points at all. And that was the very reason why he had sent the kid and the princess out to get the medicine, leaving him alone with the wounded and bandaged Vampire.

The ninja expected it to be nothing more than a long stretch of silence, pierced here and there with a sigh or a slight shuffle. He never expected the Vampire to talk to him. Even though he was wounded, that didn't mean that anything would change.

And so there they were, Fai lying on his back with his eyes closed although Kurogane knew that he wasn't asleep. The ninja was settled beside him, arms crossed and eyes focused on a point across the room. Every so often he would look down at the thin blonde, but nothing about him seemed to change.

He remembered what had happened after they discovered the fallen man on the battle field… Kurogane had inspected his wound to be deep, although he couldn't tell exactly what had been the cause of it. Draping the blonde's thin frame carefully over his shoulder, he had carried him back to their lodging area and then proceeded to tear his cape into small strips, using them as bandages to stop the blood flow.

It was then that the kid and the princess offered to go out for medicine, and in all of the rush, Kurogane didn't even remember his own injury.

He was remembering it now, as he felt the dull stinging sensation clearly on his shoulder, wondering how in seven hells it could've slipped his mind. But it didn't matter anyway, it wasn't something that would kill him, and right now, Fai was most important.

He glanced down again, and then blinked a few times as he noted that the blonde's crystal blue eyes were opening. Their gazes met, and then Kurogane looked away, not wanting to see the emotion in those eyes, or lack there-of.

"That's twice now, Kurogane." The voice came unexpectedly, and the ninja looked down once more, as though to test whether or not he had actually said it. The answer was obvious, and he could tell by the slight smirk that curved the pale blonde's lips.

"Twice what?" he asked, although somewhere inside he already knew the answer.

"Two times that you've prevented me from dying," Fai responded, his voice calm but with a bitter edge.

Kurogane gritted his teeth together. He didn't want to have this conversation, but now that the Vampire had started it, it couldn't exactly by avoided. "So you really want to die, huh?" the words were out of his mouth before his mind had registered what he was asking, and his response wasn't one that he wanted.

"I do." That bitter tone remained, and yet somehow he had a smile on his face. Nobody should smile like that when speaking of death… especially when speaking of their own.

The ninja shook his head slightly, trying to process this and failing miserably. "You confuse me," he said, and the blonde looked up at him with just a small hint of curiosity in that stone cold eye.

"Nobody should wish so strongly for their own death. So what is it that you're hiding, huh?"

Fai didn't answer for a few long moments. And then, after letting out a long, leisurely sigh, he spoke.

"I'm not telling you."

Kurogane's patience was wearing thin. It was getting annoying, the fact that there was so much pain bottled up inside one human being and he couldn't even find the strength in himself to let it all out. Nobody should harbor that much pain and misery.

He never thought of himself to be sentimental or caring in the least, but something about these last few months had changed him. No, not something, someone. And that someone just happened to be lying on the ground, with the ripped remains of Kurogane's cape around his slender build.

His fists clenched, and he avoided the gaze of that man. It wasn't going to help right now to see that stupid patch, to have all of those memories come flooding back like they always did.

"You'd think you'd realize by now that it isn't going to work."

"Hmm?" Fai was looking at him again, he could feel it, but he wasn't even going to risk looking back.

"You're not going to die."

The former mage gave the smallest of chuckles, nothing like how his laugh used to be. "Kurogane, everybody's going to die sometime. It's not something that can be--"

"You know that's not what I meant."

His tone was sharper than he meant for it to be, but somehow he felt that it was the only way to make the Vampire understand, if he could even make him understand. If that failed, the only alternative would be to grab him by the shoulders and shake him furiously, but Kurogane would never resort to that.

Silence settled over the room once again as the ninja took a few deep breaths, trying to regain his composure and gather his words.

"I meant that you're not going to die as long as I'm around," he continued after a moment, his tone softening but only a little.

"Because I'm not going to let you."

"Kurogane --"

"I don't care what you say. I don't care how hard you try, I'm not going to let it happen. Too much has happened already and even if you hate me, or refuse to speak to me, you're staying alive. You agreed to this quest and you're going to see it through to the end, just like the rest of us."

With that, the ninja stood. He wasn't going to give the blonde a chance to retaliate, no matter how much the smaller man might have wanted to. And if Fai had wanted to, he didn't show it. He said nothing, and the room was filled with silence once more.

Kurogane turned, one hand resting on the door lightly. "Get some sleep," he finally said, in his low, gruff tone, and then he exited, and the door slid shut with a soft click.

**The end of Chapter three! Yay!**

This chapter was interesting to write… I don't like making Fai mean, but it has to be done. I'm still not sure how long this story will be … so I hope all these chapters are a good thing! Haha. Please continue to review and tell me what you think!

Chapter Four is coming soon!


	4. Chapter Four: The Awakening

**Sorry I abandoned this, guys … School started again. Bleh. But … you get a big update. So… yay!**

Chapter Four: The Awakening

The cool breeze washed over his face. In a way, it was a relief. And yet, in another way, Kurogane felt even more flustered than he had before the confrontation with the mage. They had had many a conversation, and Kurogane had spent time thinking about them, but never before had they frustrated him this much.

It was something about the way that that stupid Vampire looked at him … something in that smile that suddenly seemed to be more of a sneer. That laugh that seemed to mock him… And that eye. The way that that eye stared at him filled Kurogane with something unexplainable. It was something that made him want to hide and never see Fai's flawless face again, but at the same time, for the first time in Kurogane's life, it made him feel vulnerable.

And this wasn't something that he enjoyed.

Over and over again, he told himself that he only felt weird because it was his fault. It was all his fault that Fai hated him, and now there was nothing he could do about it. Obviously, that conversation between the two hadn't helped much of anything, and Kurogane knew that.

But still, it was the little things that he missed the most.

Those stupid names… he couldn't even remember half of them. The only one that stood out in his memory anymore was Kuro-paipai. Maybe it had been starting to grow on him…

He missed those days when everything was how it was supposed to be. The princess was cheerful, the kid was determined and caring, the pork-bun was annoying as hell, and Fai … was Fai. Or was he?

The ninja didn't even know anymore. He had thought that the mage was acting like himself from the start, but after only a few days it was evident that a sort of pained longing was hidden away in his heart. That much was obvious just from the fake smiles and forced happiness. Nobody could be that happy all the time.

Noises from inside of the building brought him back to reality, as the kid and the princess returned with the medicine. With a sigh, Kurogane turned and allowed himself to return to his room, but he didn't dare to even glance into the room that held the Vampire. It wasn't something he wanted to see.

-------------------

Nightfall wasn't something that he particularly looked forward to. Yet again, Kurogane would have to watch as Sakura slid the door closed, and they were together, alone, in a room. It wasn't that he thought Fai loved her … and he couldn't have been jealous.

No, of course not. A ninja wasn't supposed to be jealous… Kuro couldn't be. Right?

Something inside of him told him that he was wrong, but for the time being, he chose to ignore it. He rolled over instead, facing the moon and staring outside through the large window in his room. The moon was the only thing shining, and it seemed to illuminate everything around it …. Just like Fai used to.

Fai…

Kurogane couldn't hold it in any longer. He was worried about Fai. He was worried and scared and confused and upset, and then confused again because he had never felt so many conflicting emotions inside of himself at one point in time.

He was sitting up now, the slight rustling of his clothing seeming to echo throughout the room that had been so silent just moments before. He didn't know what he was planning on doing … maybe he wasn't exactly planning on doing anything. But he couldn't stop himself now.

He stood, walked slowly to the door and slid it open silently, looking around before stepping out into the hall. Moving then into the kitchen, he thought he saw something, and almost dismissed it. His eyes were tricking him, that was it.

No, they weren't. Fai was up, and he was standing by the window, staring up at the moon just as Kurogane had been in his own room only minutes earlier. Normally, the former mage would have reacted instantly and given Kurogane that cold look, but now, he did nothing. He simply stood, and stared.

Before he knew what was happening, the ninja's voice was ringing out. Loud, but not loud enough to rouse their other companions. Firm, but lacking the usual harsh quality.

"Fai."

This grabbed the blonde's attention, and he seemed to jump only slightly before turning to face the ninja.

Kurogane could tell immediately that something was wrong. Fai's fake smiles, forced cheerfulness and generally happy-go-lucky attitude just wasn't cutting it anymore. No matter how much the vampire masked his true state, the ninja saw through every little thing. They knew one another far too well, whether they wanted to admit it or not.

The weird thing was, this time, Fai didn't try to hide it.

"Kurogane…"

The ninja found his own name being tossed at him, though the sound wasn't cold or sarcastic as it had been before. It wasn't bitter, it wasn't angry. It sounded generally helpless, and somewhat afraid. He didn't remember ever seeing Fai like this, and as he took a brief trip through his memory, he found that he had never been like this before.

Something really was wrong.

"What happened?"

It was strange, the fact that the two of them were suddenly talking as though there was nothing between them. For a short moment in time, it almost seemed like the argument between them hadn't even happened. Almost.

But Kurogane could still feel a tension, no matter how slight it was.

That is, until Fai stepped forward and didn't something that Kurogane would never even have imagined. It was something that he had a hard time picturing even the old Fai doing, let alone the newly transformed blonde and the current state of their relationship.

The ninja felt the blonde's arms go around him, felt him being pulled close and felt Fai take refuge in his muscular form. The smaller man gripped at Kurogane's clothing tightly, crushing his face into his chest.

There was only the slightest moment of hesitation before Kurogane's arms moved, awkwardly at first, and soon enough he had enveloped the vampire's tiny form and was holding him as he trembled.

Something bad had happened. Something that had scared Fai, terrified him. Something had effected him enough to make him do this, so it was obviously serious.

"Fai…" Kurogane's voice was still soft, softer than it had ever been. He didn't even know that he was capable of speaking so softly.

"Ashura-ou…." The ninja stiffened at the words, and he felt his heart skip a beat. Something else he thought that he wasn't even capable of. Why did that name awaken such a rage inside of him?

But it was about to get worse.

The words came out of Fai's mouth, shaking ever so slightly, and it seemed that the blonde had to force them out.

"Ashura-ou … has awakened."

**Tee-hee! Read and review, please! Thank you!**


	5. Chapter Five: Confession

**Chapter Five: Confession**

He didn't know what to do. He had no idea what to say, how to respond … he wasn't even sure if he should say anything or not.

Ashura …. Chaos. Fitting. Every time he heard that name, it seemed that there was chaos hidden behind Fai's eyes. Something stirring deep inside of his soul … like a caged animal, wanting more than anything to be set free.

And yet, Fai was more like a wounded bird who had lost it's will to fly. And so, Kurogane held him as he tried to pull himself together. Ashura … Of course Kurogane knew who Ashura was. He was the king of Fai's world, Celes… Fai had imprisoned him and now he was running, trying to get as far away as possible. Why? Nobody knew. The information that he had was simply bits and pieces that he had gathered from previous conversations.

For the first time, it really occurred to Kurogane that Ashura was real. He was very real, and Fai was very terrified. That much was obvious by the way the blonde still clung to Kurogane's robes, his knuckles turning even paler than normal, and his body trembling with a will of its own.

Kurogane tried to comfort him, somehow. He hadn't realized it until now, but … this was the moment that he was waiting for. Truly, somewhere deep in his heart, he had known it all alone … what he felt for Fai .. It went beyond the boundaries of friendship. It took the line between okay and awkward and picked it up, throwing it into the face of reality and reason. Because what Kurogane felt for Fai had no reason, made no sense, and yet it was the only thing he could see himself holding on to. It was amazing that it all fell into such a small category, such a small word.

Love.

Yes, Kurogane loved Fai, and it had taken him a little too long to realize it. Or had he realized before and simply been too afraid to admit it, even to himself? He didn't know. All he knew was that he was here, now, in the present, holding to himself the man that meant more to himself than anything, even his own life. Tomoyo. Ginryuu. None of that mattered if he could just have Fai. None.

He brought himself out of his reverie and realized that the mage was crying … No, he was sobbing, his small body heaving and seeming unable to control itself. This was bad. This was very bad, and Kurogane didn't even know why.

They stayed like that for what seemed to be hours, and eventually Fai's sobs quieted and he simply rested against the ninja, not wanting to pull back. He was embarrassed at the sudden outburst, angry at himself for letting Kurogane see him like this … But at the same time, it didn't seem to matter.

"Fai."

That voice. The ninja was speaking again … his voice taking on a tone that he didn't think he had ever used. So soft, somewhat soothing. It seemed almost impossible.

The vampire wiped his eye quickly and looked up at the other, blinking the soreness away. "Yes, Kurogane?"

"You … I …" Kurogane fumbled for a moment, his tongue tripping over the words as he fought with himself.

Fai shook his head, stopping the ninja mid-sentence, and the room fell silent. They sat there for at least a full minute or two, simply staring at one another.

Something inside of Fai had cracked, and now it was breaking. It was shattering and falling to the ground with a crash like glass, and only Fai and Kurogane could hear the shrill sounds. He cursed himself for letting his guard down, cursed himself for what he was about to say. But it was bound to happen … it was bound to happen from the first time he looked at him with those damn red eyes.

"I … want to talk," he said after a moment, his voice barely more than a whisper. He was almost surprised that it was coming from his own body, and Kurogane seemed just as surprised.

But then, something happened. A rare occurrence. Kurogane smiled. A small, soft smile, something that made Fai feel the tiniest bit of warmth in his soul. The ice was melting.

"I want to tell you," the blonde continued. "Not now, not here… but soon…. I want …" Kurogane silenced him by tightening his grip on the smaller man. Not a lot, for if he held him too tightly, it felt as though Fai would break.

"Okay."

The word was enough. They looked into one another's eyes again, there was a silence that hung in the air, and then it was as if they were acting as one.

Before either of them knew what was happening, they were moving forward, and their lips were connected. Both felt the lightning as it zipped down their spines, Fai giving a small shudder at the sensation.

Kurogane's only response was to pull him closer, and Fai's grip on his shirt slowly loosened just a bit, gripping onto the robes enough now just to pull the ninja down more.

His heart was exploding, and he couldn't fight it anymore. He was shattered. The mask, the guard, the ice, it was gone. All that he felt was warmth, and the only one that could supply this feeling was him … Kurogane.

They parted, and for a long moment it seemed as though there was nothing more to say. Then, Fai leaned his head gently against Kurogane's chest, and spoke the sweetest words that he had ever heard.

"… Kuro-pon? … I love you."


	6. Chapter Six: Eye of the Storm

**Chapter 6: Eye of the Storm**

The next morning, the warm rays of sun coming in through the large window woke him. As he sat up, slowly, blinking a few times, the memories of last night melded together in a hazy confusion. When his vision settled and he realized he wasn't where he should have been, the first thing his mind told him to do was panic. His hands flew down to his sides as he moved to look around the room, but his left hand didn't meet the soft bed … it met something else.

Looking down quickly, he saw what he had collided with and suddenly everything came back in a rush.

"Kuro-pon … I love you …"

Those words … A smile curved his lips as he remembered what had happened after that. His fingertips lightly traced patterns over his new lover's arm as he slept, and he lowered himself down, propping his small frame up on one elbow.

Something about Kurogane was so peaceful while he slept … His face was free of the tension that it carried through the day, and he was … relaxed. This caused Fai to smile more. He couldn't help it. It was so rare to see his precious puppy this way, in a way he wanted it to last forever.

A small grunt came from Kurogane, and Fai sighed softly. It wouldn't be long now.

The ninja's eyes opened slowly, still dazed with sleep and somewhat confused. He blinked. Once, twice, and then his gaze flitted upwards, towards the face of the vampire. "Hnn…"

Fai couldn't resist letting his smile take over his face. It felt good to smile. It had been to long … too long since he had let a genuine smile come over his face like this. And even though Kurogane was still groggy, he noticed.

"Morning, Kuro-wan wan."

The names were back. They were back, and for some reason Kurogane didn't mind. In fact, he couldn't have been happier if he tried. "Shut up," he responded, but Fai could see the hint of a smile glowing in those eyes.

"Nee, Kuro-tan's grumpy this morning," he said with a sigh, stretching his arms above his head and letting it out. "Oi, careful," the ninja said firmly. "Your stomach."

"Hmm? Oh … it's fine," the vampire responded, nodding slightly in agreement with himself. "See? Nothing."

He removed the bandages quickly, yet carefully, and exposed his flesh for the other to see.

It was completely healed. The wound was gone, and in its place was nothing but smooth and flawless skin. Kurogane couldn't help but notice how obvious the former mage's rubs were. They were so obvious that it was somewhat unnerving.

"You need to eat more," he grunted, but then his arm found it's way around the thin man's waist and he was pulling him closer.

"If I eat more, Kuro-chi might get hurt," Fai responded simply. "I'm fine, don't worry."

"I won't," the ninja said. "This … isn't natural." He sweeped one hand gently over the vampire's ribs, a bit more shocked at how clearly he could feel every crevice through the skin. This wasn't right.

However, he pulled his hand back at the way that Fai shivered under his touch, and a very slight blush tinged his cheeks as he turned away, throwing the covers off of himself and sitting up.

"Nee? Kuro-tai is leaving so soon?" Fai asked, looking up at the ninja questioningly. "The kid and the princess will be awake soon," was Kurogane's simple response. "I'm going to the springs… I'll be back." With that, the larger man left the room.

Once in the spring, Kurogane was alone with his thoughts.

Fai. Love. Fai. Ashura. Crying. Pain. Kiss. Love. Fai. Sick. Fai. Dying.

They all came back to one thing …

Fai.

He just couldn't get the vampire out of his mind. Everything about him. His looks, his smile, his voice…. Those stupid names. God, how he had missed those names.

And he was going to talk … Fai was going to talk to him. Kurogane wasn't one to get excited over things, but maybe, just maybe, this was something worth being excited over.

Kurogane loved Fai. Fai loved Kurogane.

He was finally going to share his past, he was going to reveal what Kurogane had been so desperate to uncover.

His relationship with Ashura. The reason why he wanted to die so badly.

There were only two things that Kurogane knew at that moment.

He loved Fai more than anything in this world, and there was no way in hell he was going to let him die now. Or ever. No way.

**And this is the last chapter for this update. Please, tell me what you think! -**


	7. Chapter Seven: Revealed

So, I just realized this chapter has been written for a loooong time, and my dumb self just now realized that I hadn't posted it. Wow.

Anyways, I'm quickly losing my inspiration for this story, since now CLAMP has revealed to us Fai's actual past in the latest chapters. I don't want to just leave it off, but I'm thinking of sort of redirecting this one to another story I'm wanting to write, tying the two together somehow? Let me know what you think. Another thing about this one is ... I'm looking at it and going, "Man, these chapters are SHORT! OO" I assure you, even within the couple of months, yes months, since this was written, I've improved. A LOT.

So please let me know what you think I should do as far as this story goes. As always, thanks to everyone for the reviews. They always make me happy.

Also, I still don't own Tsubasa. Duh.

**Chapter 7: Revealed **

A deep breath. In, and out. Slowly. Clearing everything, attempting to make everything flow out better. Or maybe he was just stalling for time.

"Fai?"

The ninja's voice brought him back to the here and the now. Yes, that's right. He was supposed to be talking now. Telling Kurogane everything … and Fai had quickly learned that everything meant _everything._ This man wasn't going to take any lies.

"Yes, I know."

The blonde's voice was soft and somewhat quiet. They didn't have too much time, but they had enough time that Fai should be able to at least get everything out. He was going over everything in his mind, trying to figure out how he was going to put everything into words.

Suddenly he was brought out of this thoughts by the feeling of a hand on his head, and he looked up towards the other man. Kurogane was looking down at him, a gentle gaze in those red eyes. "I won't push you," he said.

"I know," Fai said, his gaze going downward once again. "But … I want to talk. I do."

The ninja nodded once, pulling his hand back after the blonde's hair a gentle ruffle. "Then talk."

Fai nodded as well, took in a deep breath, and then he began …

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Fai was imprisoned for over one hundred years. Trapped in a dark, cold room, unable to see the light of day. At first he wished for freedom. He wished for someone to come and take him away, to help him and let him out. After years of hopeless dreams, he simply wished for the will to survive from day to day. And then … he wished for death.

He never got his final wish, but his first was granted. For reasons unknown to him, they opened the door. They opened the door, and they reached in and grabbed him. For one, hopeful second, he prayed that they were going to execute him. They were going to take his meaningless life and put it to an end. Finally. But no, they didn't. Instead, they led him to a tall man with long, flowing dark hair.

"Fai D. Flowright," he said, opening his arms with a warm smile. "Come."

And he was happy. He was happy that someone was taking him away. Even if he couldn't die yet, he was free, and maybe life would look up.

He was happy. But then, that happiness came to an end …

Fai took a deep, shuddering breath, pausing in his story when the memories came flooding back into his mind. He closed his eyes, his head tilted down, and tried to compose himself. He had to tell Kurogane this, but he couldn't… Suddenly he felt like this wasn't a good idea … He was getting ready to shake his head, to tell the ninja that he couldn't continue, but then something urged him to go on. The larger man's arms went around him in a comforting embrace and pulled him closer, and that reminded Fai why he had wanted to talk in the first place. He had been broken, finally. He had let someone into his heart, and now he had to share everything. With another deep breath, the story continued …

Fai's happiness ended when he realized what Ashura's true intentions were. Once Fai knew the full reason why he had been locked away for so many years.

He was danger. He was nothing but a weapon, horrible, something that caused the most disaster wherever he went. It was his magic, the marking left on his back … And he couldn't control it.

He didn't know why he was hurting people… He was as confused as the family members who were left after the countless times that he lost control, having no idea of what had happened, why, or how. Eventually, they had simply thrown him away and locked him up.

But Ashura saw something else in him. Or at least, that's what he led Fai to believe. He told Fai that he wasn't horrible, that he wasn't worthless and that he could be loved. He convinced Fai that he _was_ loved, and he used him…

Ashura used Fai for his own selfish purposes.

He taught Fai to control his magic, but he didn't teach him that causing these horrible things was bad. If Fai did as he was told, he was rewarded. And all that Fai wanted was to be loved.

It took years. Years of being used, lied to, betrayed, before something inside of Fai's mind and he realized that this was not love. What Ashura was giving to him was not and could never be anything close to love. It was something else… a lust, a desire for power. A desire for destruction. And the only way that he could achieve that destruction was through Fai.

Fai was nothing more than a tool. Nothing.

There was another pause in the conversation, it was obvious that this was hurting Fai immensely, which was completely understandable. He was gripping onto Kurogane's robes again, and the ninja held him tighter. After a few minutes of silence, the larger man was growing impatient despite himself. He knew that this story was coming to an end, but he found it in himself to ask a question.

"The girl … where did she come from?"

Chi. Of course he was talking about Chi.

Fai had created her. He was lonely. At the times when Ashura wasn't using him for destruction or his other needs, he was simply locked away in a room. Sometimes only for a few minutes, maybe hours, but sometimes days.

Fai had created Chi because he needed someone, anyone to be with him. He had created her in an image of himself… She even had blonde hair and blue eyes.

She had helped him when he had finally realized what was happening. When he made the decision to run away. To lock Ashura up. She had aided him in his plans, and when it had all been said and done, he was sad to leave her.

But after Ashura was locked up, he had to leave. He had to travel to as many worlds as possible so that Ashura could never find him. Because if Ashura found him, he could return to that life of misery and destruction. But Ashura could make it worse. Much worse.

Fai was in tears. He couldn't believe that he had just revealed so much, every little detail of his life to Kurogane. He didn't even have to fully explain the reason why he still wanted so badly to die … it was obvious. If he died, Ashura couldn't find him. He wouldn't have to worry about being used again…

"I don't want to be a tool anymore." Fai's voice was barely over a whisper, and Kurogane's eyes widened slightly when he heard those words. "I don't want to be worthless, I don't want to be nothing …"

The ninja cut him off with a soft 'shh.' "Don't say that, Fai. You're not a tool. You're not worthless, you're not nothing… I love you, and you're everything."

Kurogane wasn't one to say such things, and he was surprised that these things had come out of his own mouth. But he was pleased when he saw a small smile take over the vampire's face, and felt the smaller man's body snuggle farther into his own.

"No, Kuro-tan … you are …"


End file.
